What kind of a doctor ARE you?

I was presenting a patient in morning rounds the other day. Morning rounds is where the whole kidney team gets together to hear about the new admissions and ongoing problems. Ours are not terribly formal, and we get interrupted frequently for pages, computer checks, etc. Still, rounds are a hallowed tradition in internal medicine, and the person speaking has the floor and the attention of the group.

So I was in the middle of my presentation when my pager goes off (again!). I look down and see my home number flashing. Now, last time the nanny paged me, we ended up in the ER, so I just muttered an "excuse me" and quickly called home. Fortunately, nothing too terrible was going on. But Jonathan had a nasty case of diaper rash and was crying with each change. He was also waddling around like a cowboy from the Wild West, trying to keep from chafing too much.

You can imagine my colleagues' surprise when I have returned a page, listened for a minute to the person on the other end of the line, and then start to dispense the following advice: "I think he needs to spend a lot of naked time today. It's not too hot, so can you just strip him down and spend some time on the back patio? And don't wipe the poops off too hard - just wash them away with some warm water." I turned back to resume my presentation to a lot of questioning faces.

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Vocabulary watch: Up, hot, Mama, Dada, truck, dis, dat, doat, ap (apple). Doesn't yet say dog, but says "Woof woof!" when he sees one.