Lessons learned on an eleven hour car trip

1) When handing new books to Alex, look them over carefully first. Make sure you see everything that he might know the name of. Otherwise, he will shout "Het! Het! HET!" at the top of his lungs for twenty miles. You will say "Hat? Hot?" and he will keep shouting until you unbuckle, reach back, take the book, and see the heart shape that makes up part of the butterfly. Then you will say "Yes, Alex, a heart! Very good." He will take the book back, flip a page, and start shouting again.

2) Jonathan will watch "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" fifteen times. Will he learn the true meaning of Christmas? He will not. Will he enjoy chanting "Stink. Stank. Stunk!" from the song "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch?" He will. Will he learn compassion for the much-abused dog who pulls the Grinch's sleigh? He will not. Will you hear him laughing like a loon, predictably, thirteen minutes after you start the DVD? You will. He's laughing at the scene where the dog is dragged down the mountain.

3) Crayons roll very nicely into crevices all over the car. Pack lots and lots of extras. In fact, most of your luggage should consist of crayons.

4) Alex's desire to sit on the potty and flush it is in direct proportion to how dirty and crowded the restrooms are.

5) Late at night, Jonathan will be absorbed in a DVD. So absorbed, in fact, that he will take the cracker you hand him without looking up. If, however, you hear a voice in the backseat that says "Who gave me this cracker? Daddy? Why is Mommy driving the car?" then perhaps your husband should share the driver's seat a bit more.

6) On our next vacation, we're leaving the kids with Grandma.