Master of Negotation

We're working on manners a lot these days. Jonathan has progressed from pointing, to "Dat!", to his latest, borrowed from Cara: "Have it!" We're not fond of any of these. So we've been dutifully modelling better ways of asking, and trying non-verbal reminders.

Jonathan will usually make it through five to eight rounds of "Have it!" while I look at him with a cocked eyebrow, not moving. Finally he'll fall silent, and you can see he's thinking hard. A lightbulb will go off and he'll say "Please!" He still retains his signing abilities, so he usually says please while rubbing his tummy at the same time.

Sometimes "the look" doesn't penetrate that toddler determination. Jonathan will shout "Have it! Book! Book! Bookie bookie booooookie!" and not pay attention to anything except the out-of-reach object of his desire. This calls for a change of strategy. We'll call Jonathan over in a low voice (which gets him to stop shouting) and ask him "Would you like the book?" Then when he nods, we can remind him how we ask nicely for things. He says please and gets his book.

Today, though, he's escalated the manners arms race. He had just polished off his third bowl of Indian curry and half a mango, and thought it was time for some after-dinner entertainment. He looked at us both, asking "Watch Ernie? Watch Big Bird? TV?" We repeated back to him, hoping to get that please tacked on the end: "Jonathan, do you want to go watch Big Bird? Hmmmm?" He looked up at us, grinned, and said "Okay!"